Funny But Relatable Things Parents Think

Notice I said think and not say, because most parents don’t get the chance to even say this out loud. However, when they read it, they can sure relate!

I compiled a list of funny things parents think at times. These made me laugh. So, I hope you can get a relatable laugh out of it! Just remember you’re doing great. Parenting is hard. No one said it would be easy.

• Silence isn’t golden, it’s suspicious.
• Those moments you hope your child’s sass will help them lead a company not a gang in prison.
• Don’t yell at your kids, lean in and whisper, it’s much scarier.
• My kids throw a lot of shade for tiny people completely dependent on me for survival.

• I’m at a point in parenting where “what did I just say?” could either be a threat or a legit question.
• If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
• When I say to my son “get dressed”, what he hears is, “stand around naked watching television with one sock on.
• Parents with teenagers know exactly why animals eat their young.

• Sure, I sometimes question my parenting. But, to be honest, I sometimes question my child’s childing.
• You are going to miss this someday… I tell myself as I step on Legos all the way to the bathroom.
• Started making myself breakfast, ended up making breakfast for everybody but me.
• We can’t all look good at the same time. It’s either me, the kids or the house.

• So it turns out, being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
• Having a two-year-old is like having a blender without a lid.
• Parenting is hard, especially trying to be patient with little versions of impatient you.
• Every time I say “no”, my kids hear, “ask again because she didn’t understand the question”.

• Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
• 90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
• A toddler can do more in 1 unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.
• When your kid complains about their toy not working and you act surprised like you didn’t just take out the batteries.

• When I say “I’m just going to the bathroom”, my kids hear “family meeting in the bathroom”.
• Children don’t just get milk from breastfeeding, they get our energy too.
• Don’t cry over spilled milk. Unless it’s breastmilk, in which case, cry a lot.
• You know you’re a parent when you wish there was a drive-thru for everything.